


I Love you, across the universe and back.

by JuliMarshmallow



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Fluff, I'm so so sorry, M/M, Sick!Louis, x-factor era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-07
Updated: 2013-07-07
Packaged: 2017-12-18 00:49:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/873810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JuliMarshmallow/pseuds/JuliMarshmallow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After months of flirting at the X-factor, Harry finally asked Louis out on a date, but the thing was that they knew it had to be secret so they spent the night watching the Titanic and sharing intimate kisses here and there. They spent those fetus moments together in hiding, being their first for almost everything and falling truly in love with each other.  The other boys thought it was curiosity, yet it was true love. </p><p>When they because famous to an extreme, their management gave them two choices: A) To break up and act like it never happened (like if that was possible) or B) To continue this secret dating but one of them had to get a beard and if things got too noticeable the other would too. They went with B) choosing a close family friend, Tina, to play Eleanor Calder. She was glad to agree, for the sake of her friend's love life. Things were under control for a while but when they were writing their first debut album, Louis found out something horrid.</p><p>(Or Harry and Louis fall in love during the x-factor then Louis gets really really sick.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Love you, across the universe and back.

 

**One-shot: I love you, across the universe and back.**

**Paring: Louis/Harry.**

**Warning: Suicide, Major Character death and fatal cases.**

**Rating: PG-13, but because of plot line Rated R.**

**Summary:**

**After months of flirting at the X-factor, Harry finally asked Louis out on a date, but the thing was that they knew it had to be secret so they spent the night watching the Titanic and sharing intimate kisses here and there. They spent those fetus moments together in hiding, being their first for almost everything and falling truly in love with each other.  The other boys thought it was curiosity, yet it was true love.**

**When they because famous to an extreme, their management gave them two choices: A) To break up and act like it never happened (like if that was possible) or B) To continue this secret dating but one of them had to get a beard and if things got too noticeable the other would too. They went with B) choosing a close family friend, Tina, to play Eleanor Calder. She was glad to agree, for the sake of her friend's love life.**

**Things were under control for a while but when they were writing their first debut album, Louis found out something horrid.**

**He only told his friend, Ed, who wrote a song for the moment. He kept it from Harry, not wanting to alarm him and decided to forget about the thing the doctors had diagnosed him. He went on with his life, struggling with his relationship with his boyfriend and his fake one with El, but kept it well maintained. During December, Harry asks Louis asks something that he has to say no to and causing him to tell his secret. Sobbing on his shoulder and shaking, Harry whispers to him how much he loves him because Louis a tumor growing behind his heart and it wasn't removable for it was in a fatal spot.**

**So he was bound to die in a year.**

**Or less.**

**Words: 9972.**

**Author's Note: Hello! Like I said before (if you read thoroughly) my updates will be weird and you just have to bear it and hopefully I'll reward you with a long story. This is my first one-shot and… Well it's quite sad and I took me a while to write and I hope you enjoy this small story and it was supposed to be much longer than this, like a lot longer, but I saw I had readers waiting for my update, so I shortened the end and speeded up the ending… I had an MRI and I've been having meds and been sick for now 7 months, so please bare with me. Plus the medicine doesn't have effect on me, lovely, innit?**

**Enjoy!**

**~Juli Marshmallow -Still alive.**

**************

 

 

Before The News

 

Everything was fine before, back in 2010.

 

There wasn't the pain. 

 

There wasn't the love. 

 

Just a dream. 

 

To be broken. 

 

And loss. 

 

*

 

Louis was sitting on the steps, outside of the X-factor and his old Toms looked as worn out as ever but they were his only pair and his most loved because it was present from his mom and they cost a lot. He was biting his lip, super nervous for his performance today. You see, Louis was just 19 and decided to try out for the X-factor alone and was extremely insecure of himself. He was utterly worried that he might mess up, but his family told him otherwise with their support. Unlike his usual cocky persona, he was shy and quiet and freaking out since he was up after 4 people. He decided to take a wee, hoping to relieve his nerves. He went to the washroom and when he came out, he stared at the young curly haired boy who admired his curls. That was when Blue met Green. He went to wash his hands and accidentally got the curly boy with olive green eyes wet.

 

"Oops!" Louis said with a blush and looked down to the boy, who shook his head and curls and smiled.

 

"Hi," the boy said in a deeper voice that Louis had not expected. "It's ok mate." There was another smile with dimples, Louis thought and smile back.  "Do I know you from somewhere?" The curly haired boy asked, tilting his head to a side. Louis narrowed his eyess as they started at each other, studying each other's face and narrowing their eyes to see why they both seemed familiar. Louis remembered someone with curly hair from a concert in 2009. They had been drunk and something's might have happened that he wished to not speak about, something's that he wanted to relive when he found that boy again... Yet this boy seemed too posh and polite to be anything like the curly haired boy he had shagged at the concert. Louis shook his head, convincing himself they weren't the same people, sadly. 

 

"I'm Harry by the way!" Reaching out to shake hands. "Harry Styles to be exact."

 

"I'm Louis," Louis told the curly lad with a smile and shook his hand. "Louis Tomlinson to be exact," he mimicked with a smile and they held on hands, both blushing. "You next?"

 

"Nah, tenth, soon though. You?" He said and shook his head, shaking the mop of curls.

 

"Soon," he sighed and made a face, causing Harry to giggle. "Actually I hate to say but I should go in the waiting room inside since I'm soon..." Louis looked down to his feet and shuffled in his place.

 

"Ah, I'm sorry 'bout the tough luck," Harry said kindly, eyeing the hands that they held, not noticing the smile that was creeping his and Louis face. Harry noticed how innocent and young Harry looked now, which was quite adorable for him.

 

"It's ok, better now than never." Harry nodded and the finally and sadly released hands. "Anyways, bye Harry, good luck and hope to meet you again." He smiled and Harry looked kinda shocked that Louis was going to leave him so soon. His face fell at the news and before Louis could even notice, Harry hugged him tightly.

 

"Good luck Lou," he said in the older boy's neck, smaller than Louis. Louis was shocked at first but then hugged back the boy, embracing the moment and smelling the nice small and loving the heat that was being transmitted. Both boys actually liked each other's presence and were completely unfathomed why this fluttering feeling in each other's hearts was arising and this desire of romance was bursting inside of them.

 

"Thank you." Louis said and blushes when they pulled away. "You know, you could watch me from the outside of the doors, I could say you're a family friend that came and they'd let you watch me, yeah?" Harry eyes lit up and shone, causing Louis to make it his life's job to make that curly haired boy eyes shine and illuminate. 

 

"Yes, I'd like that!" Harry said and they walked together close together out to the waiting room, where the Tomlinson family was beside Harry's family, chatting like normal folk. They introduced each other and they had turned into friends before Louis was to preform. Something in their hearts told them both that it was more than a friendship, but neither of them said a word of it.

 

As Louis presented, he remembered the warm embrace and sang his heart out, swooning the crowd in awe. He got in, filled exuberant and joy and happiness, he rushed back to the waiting arms of his family, then to Harry's waiting arms, who congratulated his friend and kissed him on the cheek, hoping it to mean a friendship to others but to the two of them romance, but everyone around noticed that it was the start of something knew and beautiful. 

 

Something both boys didn't acknowledge what the feeling that kiss on the heel caused both lads.

 

*

 

Luckily, Harry got in and they were set to their adventure together to winning the show and the hearts of many. They kept their friendship as quite as possible. They knew that people there were thirsty for drama, and so the two friends kept their friendship under the waters, slowly becoming more intimate in this secret relationship.

 

It was the day that they were taken out that they moved from friends and crossed the thin line to romance. 

 

They were called into the room and none of their names were called to be on the next show, so one can imagine the emotion. They looked at each other with the saddest eyes and walked out of the stage, both tearing up. Harry got interview as he cried, which was utterly rude because they needed their personal space and Louis wasn't able to comfort his friend. When they were called back, Harry and Louis were as nervous as fuck and trying not to look sad. When they were out in a band, Harry couldn't hold it and tango Louis and tackled him in a hug, hugging his friend tightly, who had caught him and carried him away. They were looking at their new band mates and were studying each other and that night instead of getting to know each other, the other boys from the band (the shaggy haired boys called Liam, the Muslim lad called Zayn and the Irish blond called Niall) went out for dinner as Louis and Harry went to a hotel room and celebrated by watching Love Actually and having room service.

 

"Lou?" Harry asked when the movie ended. "Lou!" He said, getting Louis' attention.

 

"Hmm?" He said, tired since it was 1AM. 

 

"Remember when we met in the washrooms?"

 

"Yeah?" Louis said, now laying attention to what the boy was going to say. Something both boys didn't know were the brushed they had on each other. They did have strong feelings for each other in a romantic manner but none of them ever told the other, being shy and unsure of things like that.

 

"Remember how I asked you if I knew you?"

 

"Yes?"

 

"I do know you."

 

"What? How? From where?"

 

"You're the boy from the concert, in 2009... You're the boy who... I'm Curly, remember?" He looked shyly to Louis as Louis sat up from his snuggle and looked a Harry in the eye, both of them shocked and looking at each other with this emotion, desire and lust.

 

"Oh my god..." Louis covered his moth and was starting to freak out. "I... I knew I wasn't mad! I knew it was you... Oh my god, I guess its fate?" Louis smiled to his friend, who smiled back and blushed.

 

"I guess so..." He said, both boys gradually moving closer to each other until their noses touched and they were about to kiss. Louis moved closer and just as they lips brushed passed each other's, the phone rang, causing both boys to scramble away as Louis got up to answer the phone. When he answered the phone, Harry hovered over to them and listened against Louis, who put the phone on speaker, as they heard Louis' mom congratulate them.

 

"Awe, my little boy is going to be in a band!" Jay cheered. "I knew great things would come from both of you! Gah, Louis you'll need to tell Harry the truth now!" Jay said naïvely, not knowing Harry was listening and Louis started to blush.

 

"Mom!" Louis gasped, feeling betrayed. "He's listening!"

 

"Good, now you have to tell him how you utterly have fallen in l-" she said in a fake voice. 

 

"Mom I'm having up!" And Louis hung up with a huge blush growing and his looked up to Harry, who was raising an eyebrow and looked questioningly. "It was no-"

 

"Not nothing, please tell me." Harry told him with a stern face.

 

"I..." Louis thought for a moment. What was the worst thing that could happen? Like, they were in a band together so there was no way Harry would stop talking to him if he didn't like what Louis would say. "Please don't hate me..." Louis begged, his voice slightly cracking and he looked away nervously.

 

"Louis..." Harry cooed. "Louis." He said, grabbing Louis face with both of his bands to get Louis to look at me. "I would never hate you, seriously, I can't even think of hating you with of wanting to kill myself." Louis eyes teared up, gaping those words were honestly. He hugged Harry tightly, smelling his sent and sighing. "Ok?"

 

"Yeah... I'll tell you..." Louis said against Harry's shoulder. "I... I love you..." He said, shaking as Harry pulled Louis away.

 

"What?" Harry asked in a serious tone.

 

"I, uh, love you..." He said, looking down to Harry.

 

"I love you too!" Harry said, as a friendly way, not sure of what Louis meant or how he meant it.

 

"I know, but like not in a friend type of way... I love you as in I have a crush on you..." Louis fumbled and looked up to Harry nervously.

 

"Really?" Harry asked genuinely and Louis nodded. Something Louis never expected was a huge dimpled smile from Harry and a pressure on his lips that belong to Harry's lips. This kiss was like fireworks exploded in him and it was something perfect and rare and obviously it was love. When they pulled away from the kiss, Harry blushed and whispered in the older boy's ear. "So do I. I fucking love you Louis." And that was how they became secret lovers and they became united in many ways. That night, they relived their summer 09 but in a romantic manner, knowing they had forever instead of one night. 

 

That was when Larry became a couple.

 

*

 

Louis and Harry continued dating, flirting in a friendly manner but leaning on to the couple they were. They kept it secret and only told their families, who cooed at the couple, having to expect it from the beginning of their friendship. It was quite obvious, their relationship, that it was true and strong. Their families accepted them and didn't care; they treated the couple like a normal couple, not saying anything against their sexual orientation. They became best friends with their other band mates and soon like brothers, knowing very ting and feeling at ease with them like family. 

 

Niall was the first to find out about Larry when he accidentally walking in one the couple making of on the ground instead of getting ready for a rehearsal. Niall ran away to go to Liam, who told Zayn and the three boys talked about when to comfort the couple. A week later, Niall, during dinner at a pizza, finally spoke up, questioning both boys what was going on. At first Louis tried to cover it up Harry told him they were their brothers, that had to tell them. That was when they came out to their friends. At first things were awkward, to walk into Louis and Harry's room early in the morning and see both of them snuggled up to each other, butt naked and stuck together from their night before. They soon were normal with those situations and accepted their relationship, making in appropriate jokes whenever Harry would complain about having a sore ass or Louis complaining of not getting enough sleep, because the band knew it was from their steamy night before. Probably the awkwardest moment was when Liam came got tell the boys that they were having a meeting with Simon on their new single and he walked in on Louis in a ballerina tutu doing a strip tease to Harry, who was in short shorts- only. Liam screamed and ran off, panting and panicking and holding himself in a ball, hoping and saying it was just a dream. Louis just giggled and teased Harry with the kink that was given, causing Harry to whimper and beg. Liam ran to Zayn, sobbing and acting as if he never saw that and Zayn just laughed and told him to get used to it. 

 

*

 

"What the hell?" Louis scream at Simon. He was crying against Louis' now bigger chest. Harry was holding him dearly and trying to make him feel better, crying against his boyfriend's shoulder. "Just give us time to think, please." Louis said.

 

"Alright, but just think of the band and how if you two come out, things will be quite affected. Keep in mind you have straight girls out for you and you have an image to keep." Simon told both boys once the other boys from the band had left. "Think about it." He told the couple and Harry grabbed his best friend, carrying him away in a bridal style to the limo that awaited them at the back of the building. That was the day Louis told Simon he wanted to come out, but instead of getting what he asked for, he got the opposite, a beard. After a long to with Harry in the car, after tears were shed, Louis agreed to have a fake girlfriend, a close family friend, to play his lover as he secretly was with Harry. After many emotional moments, Harry was able to accept the concept, trying t cope with their public kisses and tweets. Harry loathed Tina though, or her stage name Eleanor. 

 

*

 

While they wrote their first album, Louis had been feeling this odd pain in his heart. It was like if something was pounding from his back and was stabbing his heart. It even was this tight pain most of the times and he fainted from the pain. Harry was there to catch him when he fainted as they left an award show. Harry panicked and called an ambulance, who brought the couple to the hospital. The hospital said it was just from being tired, but something in the deepest part of Harry's heart told him that it wasn't that. This episode of faint from 'strain and being tired' continued every month or so. Louis convinced Harry it was from being tired and nothing to be afraid of. He told Harry he'd gotten itself checked out, but he never did from his busy work schedule. 

It had been happening, the pain, since they got off the X-Factor and it was now 6 months after and each day he had this heartache that is abnormal now. Some other symptoms started to appear, as being lightheaded and dizzy. Then he noticed he had trouble sleeping and then weight loss. He made sure to eat a lot so people wouldn't notice but he had lost 10 pounds in the course of 6 months involuntary.

 

During those months, he decided, finally to go to the Doctor, after a long month of hard thinking, before Harry noticed a change in his attitude and physic and might comment on it. He met up with the doctor, who was clueless and went to the MRI instantly and not a blood test to test a theory that frightened the doctor. He said he was meeting up with El, but he was going to have an MRI for his chest, mostly his heart (which was the main concern) but he kept it all to himself. He'd waited two months for this x-ray and finally it was happening in September. Driving there, to the hospital, was quite emotional. He teared up in worry and wished he had his boyfriend with him, yet he didn't want to worry the younger boy. He felt his heart beat, yet hurt really badly. He was now biting on his lip, trying hard not to cry because usually he'd run off to the washroom to sob secretly.

 

When he walked in, he felt as nervous as fuck and was wiping his clad hands on his pants. They injected some dye to have a better image and sedated him so he didn't feel any claustrophobia. They told him to lie flat on the bed, putting a pillow on his head and one under his knees for comfort. He was layer on a table and given earplugs to cover the loud noises. The table was moved into this circular metal box and was put a head brace that had a mirror to reflect the office where the doctor was operating the machine. He had no idea what to do and he could hear this faint sound, like chirping birds, in the back o the room. The doctor told him he'd hear these hammering noises and that was just the image being taken. The doctor explained that this first image took a minute. He heard this low click and then loud thuds surrounding him. These noises were so loud and he got a heartache, even though he had earplugs. A minute of loud noises passed before it stopped and the doctor explained the next one was a series of images that last 7 minutes each and the table would start to shake, which was normal. He heard the clicking noises before the low-pitched loud thuds began. The there was a second pause then this loud beeping noise that was so loud and the table shook and he wanted to panic, but he didn't. There was always these different sounds that made his head hurt and they were so loud but he bared them, knowing it was for his health. All he could think about was Harry waiting at home patiently for his boyfriend, whom loved him oh, so dearly. He thought of different things that pile happen from the results. Maybe it was fat being produced in an artery? He had had blood tests, but they never showed anything so he only could hope this would work. Once he was done, he waited in the waiting room patiently for the results to come back. Since this was a really important procedure (and since Louis paid a nice amount) the results came back in an hour and a half. His knees moving since he was shaking his legs and his head in his head in a tired position. When he was called into the doctor's room, he was utterly afraid. 

 

The doctor sat him down on the chair and Louis found himself staring at four large pictures in black and dark blue and white against a white-lighted screen. He stared at the first one that showed a front view and one could see lungs and a heart and ribs, perfectly healthy. There was the back view and that's where he saw something odd. He'd thought this was heartburn or something from becoming older, but what he saw was not that at all. There was a blank space under the vertebra. It looked Ike there was a huge clump of play dough under his vertebral spine.  On the side views it showed the same clump but sideways right on the back of his heart, in between the heart, lungs, ribs and spine. Louis gulped his own salvia in panic and glance at the doctor then to the screen and waited for him so speak. The doctor smiled weakly and calmly explained what appeared on the picture. He gave Louis these piteous eyes and told him the news.

 

Louis had a tumor in a fatal spot, unable to be removed and too big to be shrunk. 

 

 

AfterThe News.

 

 

 

"Louis?" Niall called out in the hotel room. "Lou?" He called out, his voice echoing throughout the room. "Not here…" He muttered to himself, slightly annoyed now. "I don't know where he is..." Niall told Harry trough the phone. Harry had been sent off to visit his family, not that he minded that, but it was a trip he could only be allowed to do alone. Alone sadly meaning without Louis, which was completely hear dealing because Louis was like family and his family accept the Tomlinson’s as one of their own. Louis had gone to Doncaster to visit family, forced to take Eleanor with him. El was like a friend to him, not entirely close but like someone to chat with when the top 4 friends aren't around. The rest of the band respected her, respecting her choice to save a friend's career for love that he was forced to hide. But that did not ever mean that the other bandmates liked her or her presence. For one, they were thankful they weren't forced to like her and fake being friendly with her. 

 

Niall found a small note on the pillow. He gulped and reached forward, not sure whether what Louis would write was funny, cheeky or bad. It was just saying the following:

 

'Off to see a close friend. Remember Ed, as in Ed Sheeran? Yeah him, don't worry.

 

~L. T.

 

PS: Tell Harry not to worry, I forgot to call him to say I wouldn't be with you lads today, thank you.'

 

"He let a note… He's visiting Ed," Niall explained over the phone to Harry, who was panicking where the older boy had been off to.

 

"Ah, like Sheeran?" Harry asked and Niall hummed a agreement, reassuring Harry. "Oh, ok, well he hasn't called… Ok then, Mum's callin' me again…" He sighed and they bid goodbyes before hanging up.

 

*

 

"What do you mean 'fatal'?" Ed air-quoted Louis' term. He narrowed his eyes and tilted his head that had the mass of ginger hair mopped on top.

 

"Fatal, what do you think that means?" He raised an eyebrow, hoping this small drop of sassiness might bring him back some courage and hope for life. It had been two weeks of having this tumor and it was now October. His symptoms were strong and he had painkiller, Tylenol 3, hoping it'll help, which it did, but not entirely. There were some days the pain was so strong he couldn't handle it and left to cry. Other days were he barely felt the pain and was almost convinced he was ok. 

 

Almost, because he knew he was dying. 

 

"I don't know what to say..." Ed looked to the ground, eyes sad that one of his friends was dying. "Who knows?"

 

"The doctor and you..." Louis looked to the far distance. 

 

"Won't you tell Harry?" Ed knew they were dating and he knew how in love they both were to each other. Harry 95% of the time spoke about Louis and his perfection, which made Ed swear Harry's like was a huge room of flowers and tattoos and Louis dolls and Louis posters and Louis recordings everywhere. Ed noticed the paling expression on Louis face and started to understand why he answered in that way. 

 

"No." He said, his heart in his throat. "I don't want him to worry or treat me differently. Like I don't want to tell him I have a year and a half to live."

 

"Oh..." Ed said, understanding why in some way. "But at some point you'll have to tell him, you know that, right?"

 

"I know, but not yet..." He said. "I'm not ready to tell him. The conversation would be so bad, like, 'hey Haz, I have a heart tumor and I'm dying, have a nice day!" Louis rolled his eyes in the thought. 

 

"True... Although, he might find out instead of you telling him." Ed said in a suggesting way, but he knew Louis wasn't going to tell his boyfriend because it would tear the relationship and change everything.

 

This was how Ed wrote Moments, which he sold to the band. 

 

*

 

When he got to his mom, Louis asked to speak to her privately in her in his old room. His sisters were at school and he needed to tell his mom, no matter what. He curled on his bed, waiting for his mom (who took the day off) and held on to the pillow, breathing deeply and his heart beating fast yet faintly in a odd way. He was shaking; he'd been nervous and anxious throughout the whole trip. Whenever his sister would poke him, he'd flinch or back away in panic because he felt to weak and he was all shaken from the news. 

 

"Ah, Lou, what is it you wanted to tell me?" Jay asked her son in the soft motherly voice she had, walking in and sitting the edge of the bad and rubbed her son's back in a comforting way. 

 

"I... It's just I..." Louis stuttered and teared up. How could he say this?

 

"You what? It's ok honey... Tell me," she reassured him and rubbed his trembling back. 

 

"If I tell you, promise to not panic or treat me differently." Louis' voice cracked. 

 

"Aww, honey, I never would!" Jay told her son kindly. She was starting to make up different ideas of what could be troubling Louis. Could he have fallen in drug abuse? Could he have gotten a girl pregnant-no he loves Harry too much to even think of cheating. Was he coming out with Harry? Quitting the band? Going to jail? What was happening?

 

"I got a... A thing in my body..." Louis said timidly. 

 

"What thing?" She said, thinking it was probably Harry; she did have her share or awkward moments when she called at the wrong time. 

 

"A tumor." He said and closed his eyes, not wanting to see the sadness wash over his mother's face. She gasped and her throat thickened.

 

"Where Louis?" She finally asked after a pregnant pause.

 

"Behind my heart and in front of my back bone…" He sighed as she hand shook but kept stroking his back.

 

"Meaning fatal?" She asked, knowing the answer to her question. He whimpered and as his mother pulled him in a hug, they cried together, her knowing Louis was just beginning to fall apart. Louis didn't have to tell her if he had told Harry because she knew from his expression that she was the only thing he had for support in the road to his deathbed.

 

"Mom?"

 

"Yeah?" 

 

There was a pause.

 

"I need you to give a letter to Harry when I can't say anything." 

 

*

 

Louis groaned as he heard keys brush pass the lock from his house. He waited and heard the doorknob turn. He heard a shuffle of footsteps and a bag fall heavily on the ground. He heard a sigh and a sniffled. Louis heard the feet come closer to the stairs and climb the satires slowly, as if the person who came in was taking in the house. He knew the person was upstairs and now was shuffling towards Louis' room. He heard the wooden floor creaked in front of his door and heard his doorknob turn and his door open softly, making the quietest creak ever and the person made their way in Louis' room (well his shared room with his boyfriend) and beside Louis, there was a dip in the bed. The weight was unmistakable and as the person got closer, Louis knew who it was from the sent and they way the person breathed and how they walked in cautiously to not wake Louis up. The person wrapped his lanky arms around Louis, spooning him in the way he wanted to be spooned and warming the small boy up.

 

"Sorry I came at such an ungodly hour Lou," Harry whispered in Louis' ear softly and held Louis tight sadly. His voice seemed more nasal duck-like sound, as if he couldn't breath right through his nose. "I love you though, and I'm here and won't let you go babe." He said, kissing Louis behind this ear and trailing his warm kisses to the base of his neck and beside the collarbone, giving Louis a love bite.

 

"It's ok Haz," Louis whispered back turning his head and his lips meeting with Harry's. "I love you too though. I'm glad your here and that I'm in your arms... But, you have a cold, don't you?" He said and pulled away, eyeing the younger boy before rolling his eyes when Harry nodded shyly, giving a shy smile. "Oh, well if we both get ill, we can nurse each other," Louis winked and Harry chuckled and kissed Louis again, missing those lips and the sent and the feeling Louis have him. Sooner or later, Louis ended up straddling Harry with a grin as they snogged passionately on a Sunday morning. Later, as the kiss got hotter and all, Louis ended up topping, missing his dear boyfriend and reminded Harry that he was Louis', glad that Harry moaned it out. Also, Louis gave Harry plenty of love bites to mark his territory, ignoring that they had a photo shoot in three hours and gave no mercy to Harry's porcelain white skin. 

 

*

 

It was now November and the boys' first album, Up All Night, came out. The songs were beautiful and some sky's had been already out, like WMYB, which was a great hit, massively popular and still growing around the world slowly. They had a tour already sold out, which was strange since the boys didn't feel famous so why was it sold out? Maybe they were famous in Europe, but they didn't know that they were growing huge in other continents. 

 

 As much as the boys loved to celebrate their joy, it had been now two good months that Louis’ had been holding back his secret from Harry. Harry was convinced Louis took medicine for allergies to the dust, but he never really saw the pack of pills because Louis kept them well hidden. Louis didn't want Harry to find out that Louis was taking strong painkillers with morphine for his heart and was injecting himself with more painkillers, trying to mask the pain his heart and chest and back. Paul started to notice Louis being more tired and less loud and flamboyant than usual. Liam started to be concerned and spoke to Paul, Liam, Zayn and Niall about his worries, which the other boys agreed that something was wrong. Harry didn't notice it because he forced himself to believe it was just hiding the relationship, not a tumor. It hurt to have to kiss Eleanor in public and act like be felt something he didn't. 

 

 He took the pills religiously, never missing or skipping them. He still felt a faint heartache, but the pills he took were quite strong and covered oh, so much pain. This made Louis wonder what would happen if he didn't have those pills with him, would he be ok? This question was soon answered a month later after on the 21th of December during an award show that they won for best song of the year with What Make You Beautiful, which they preformed the song. They didn't even know they were participating in the show until 12 hours before when they were rushed to L.A. with out warning and had everything there. Louis hadn't had the time to take his meds, which were in the small medicine cabinet beside his and Harry's bed. He'd be missing one Tylenol 3 and a few other strong pills that he vowed to never miss. He was panicking when they landed, trying to act calm and say he was 'excited' and that's why he had his panties in a knot. But something told Harry it wasn't that. He started to fidget and wondered if he'd be sedated. He texted mom, telling her that he needed his medicine. She had no way of bringing the medicine or anything and she was stressing out because she knew he lived off of the painkillers. Louis was already feeling his heartburn-like feeling. 

 

Once they won their award, he was extremely happy, huge gummy smile on his face, and Liam gave a short speech, thanking quickly people, the symptoms started to kick in. Before, the pain was like two dagger were going in his heart, one in the front and one in the back. It felt like the sharp daggers stabbed him, twisted his heart and flesh around in this odious pain and would pull out slowly and cut back in. Now, the pain seemed to double horrible, causing Louis to trip down the stairs in pain. His heart rate sped and his breathing became harder- soon to become labored. Harry glanced at his best friend, trying not to be too concerned for paparazzi, and asked him if he was ok. Louis answered he was fine, but something about his voice opposed. After preforming the song, which Louis was grateful now that he didn't have a solo, Louis walked off to the back stage and just as he walked down the satires, the pain returned, stronger the before and traveling until he felt this claustrophobic pain in his chest giving labored breathing. He gasped and clutched his heart, letting out a strangled cry and Paul at once called the ambulance, getting the area cleared as Louis felt faint and grabbed Harry's arm, holding for his dear life as he weakened and felt to his knees, chocking to get air and crying in pain.

 

"Lou?" Harry let out a strangled cry and held on to the smaller boy, who went into a limp form and was sobbing hard on Harry's shoulder. Harry's throat hurt from the tightness in it, like if there was a ball stuck in his throat and it was killing him. "Louis! What's going on? Are you ok? What's wrong babe?"

 

"Ha… zzz…." Louis let out a horsed noise and clutched where his heart was. He sniffled on his shirt, shaking his head and gasping. "It hurts, please help! Send help, send help! Send help!" He kept moaning in pain, which fuse Harry to stress out even more. Everything was happening so fast, Liam and Niall rushed to the front doors to lead the ambulance to where Louis was. Zayn was calling Louis' mom and talking to Paul at the same time, both in panic as they tried to reach Louis' mom.

 

"Louis, stay with me! Please, don't close your eyes, Louis!" Harry cried as Louis' eyes sneaked closed slowly, as if he was falling asleep or something. His eyes seemed to be near rolling backwards.

 

"Haz…" Louis mumbled, reaching out of this face.

 

"Yeah?" Harry had his full attention to his boyfriend.

 

"I can't see…. It hurts too much… Let me sleep… Just for a while, then I'll feel better. Please?" Louis stroked Harry's face that was nose to nose with Louis. 

 

"No! Don't leave me! Don't let me go! Keep holding on to you life Louis!" Harry told him, shaking his head in panic. He knew that this sleep might be the endless sleep people get when it's their time to go and the one that they never wake up from. "No, Louis, please don't go! This isn't the moment! "We haven't even wedded." He cried, his tears falling on Louis' face as they both cried. Harry pulled Louis close and gave him a soft kiss on the lips, and when he pulled away, his boyfriend eyes were closed. "I love you…" Harry sobbed on the motionless boy in his arms as the paramedics came swarming in.

 

*

 

"Louis…" Harry mumbled, snorting afterwards as his head rolled on to Liam's shoulder. Liam had been consoling and comforting the fragile younger boy finally fell asleep around 2am, giving Liam a bit of time to relax. Liam had taken a fatherly mode, in which be comforted his friends and was calming them. When Jay had arrived at about 5am, Liam had the chance to finally panic and let his emotions pour out. Jay, who had four daughters and Louis, opened her heart and squeezed the four bandmates into her heart and was like another mother. Obviously she treated Harry more of a son mixed with a son-in-law, because that's what he was to the family. He was part of Tomlinson's and he was extremely glad he passed that test and was accepted into the family as one of their own.

 

"I jus don't get it..." Liam kept going on, sighing deeply. "It happened from one moment to another and none of us noticed that his change of mood was something be taken in deep thought. The lads noticed that Louis was different, but we didn't do anything. Worst thin is that Harry, who can speak to Louis and get to him, wont accept that he's different. He's less flamboyant and cheerful and happy. He's just... Calm and... Mature?" He told Jay, confused.

 

"Really?" She said, trying to act as if she didn't know. She obviously knew, especially why he was that way.

 

"Yeah and I just…" He was quiet for a bit. "You awfully quiet and less fanatic than you could be… You aren't panicking like usually, why?"

 

"I-wait, what?" Jay said, putting her hand on her heart and trying to act offended. "Liam Payne! Of course I'm worried!" She said.

 

"Yeah?" He raised an eyebrows then narrowed his glare and stared at her for a bit before opening his eyes in shock. Then he realized why it was all so fishy. "You know why!"

 

"Excuse me?" Jay asked, trying to act confused but Liam hummed and narrowed his eyes, always being the sharpest pencil. Jay sighed as her shoulders fell and her sighed, giving up her act. "Fine, I do know…."

 

"Ah ha!" Liam exclaimed, but Jay shushed him, glancing at the other boys that were sound asleep. " Are you going to tell me what you know?"

 

"No," Jay said, looking away. She glanced at Liam and caught this adorable puppy dog eyes and pout face that Liam wore, and that broke her. "I can't say much though," She sighed and Liam fist-pumped in glory. "He's sick, really sick… And the performance was so sudden that he couldn't pack his painkillers, or medicine, and missed a lot of them and basically…" Liam nodded, thinking and trying to make sense of the news. "I'm not gonna tell you what he has though, that for him to tell you."

 

"Does anyone else know?" Liam asked.

 

"I think only me, he hasn't told me if he told someone else..." She trailed off.

 

"So, not Harry?" Liam asked, to confirm

 

"No." And that was how Liam knew that this was serious. Harry always knew everything; he knew when Harry was getting a cold, when he had a new pimple or even when he had problems with his bowel movements. He knew when Louis had too much candy or too much alcohol or when he needs sleep. If harry didn't know, this was serious.

 

But what did Louis have?

 

*

 

"He's awake." The nurse explained to Jay and Harry, who were in each other's arm and talking boundlessly of life. "He's asking for his Harry?" The nurse said, eyes flickered with this OMG-so-precious look, as if she found Louis calling Harry his adorable, which it was. When Harry got up, Jay took his hand and told him to be easy on Louis. Harry nodded, taking that in thought and as the nurse led Harry through the ICU, he thought of what he'd say. At his room, he took a deep breath and the nurse nocked on the door, hearing a faint come in and opening the door, allowing Harry to waddle in. Louis was in a hospital bed, laying there with his arms in the attached to an IV and he had a heart monitor and a tube to his heart that connected to a huge machine beside him. You could hear BEEP-BEEP from his heart from a distance. Louis was starting at the ceiling, not flinching when the others walked in. The nurse whispered something into his ear, causing him to nod weakly and the nurse took a remote control from his lap and slowly pressed a button that sat Louis up. Harry pulled the chair on the side of the room and pulled it beside Louis, who stared at him. When the nurse left, Harry bit his lip and looked at Louis for a while and analyzed him. 

 

It wasn't long before he sighed in an annoyed manner and grabbed Louis' fragile face and kissed him. The kiss was soft, long and meaningful. It wasn't long before both boy's cheeks were stained with tears, that broke apart their kiss. Louis wiped his face with his free arm, keeping close distance to Harry, who looked at Louis' heart monitor. So many thoughts were running through both boys' thoughts and it was that moment of silence that gave Louis a spark of want to tell his boyfriend. From that kissed and from the way Louis breathed, from the way he looked at Harry, Harry knew that what ever it was, it was painful and Louis needed Harry's help.

 

"Boo, why-" Harry started to say but then stopped and looked up to meet Louis' wandering eyes and grabbed Louis' face softly, stroking it kindly and retying what to say. "Love, are you ok?" He managed to say, his hands trembling against Louis' soft cheek.

 

"Harry… I-I don't want to life, so," He bit his lips when he answered the younger boy. "I don't know. No, I'm not ok." He admitted and that broke up into tears as Harry pulled himself over the bed and hugged his boyfriend, holding the boy that cried in his arms. This was like a strong pinching in the heart. This broke Harry's heart, to see such a perfect human, almost celestial being, be not ok. "I'm so sorry Harry, I want to be ok, but I'm not." He cried and Harry pulled him tighter, but not to tight to hurt him. He shushed Louis as Louis' sobs softened.

 

"You don't need to apologize for something that isn't your fault!" Harry exclaimed, not letting go of Louis.

 

"Let me go Harry." Louis said, wanting to have space, but that wasn't what he truly wanted and Harry knew.

 

"No."

 

"Why?"

 

"Because you need me as I need you, like humans need water."

 

"But, like you don't need someone who didn't take care, like I should hav-"

 

"Whatever it is, it wasn't your fault. It was the fault in the stars that made life like this. Please don't say it's your fault because if it's your fault, it should be mine. I should have noticed also, like I should have done something…" Harry said, looking sad, causing Louis' heart to hurt emotionally, not just physically.

 

"But you don't know what I have."

 

And it was like if someone had shattered a glass vase and silence swam in the room.

 

"I know I don't know, but do you think I care? It's hurting you and it's gotta go." Harry finally said in a superhero tone.

 

"It can't go."

 

"What do you mean, can't?"

 

"It's…"

 

"You don't have to say."

 

"I want to." Louis sounded desperate.

 

"Take your time." He said warmly.

 

"I have to tell you." There was a del breath taken.

 

"Whatever you want." Harry said kindly.

 

Then the silence came back.

 

"It's hurting me." Louis finally spoke. "It's eating my heart." Harry didn't say anything and let Louis continue. "It… When it eats my heart whole, my heart will stop. And it's growing on to my spine and nervous system. It'll reach everywhere and that process will cause me to live off of a machine that will be my heart."

 

"What is 'it' Lou?"

 

"I don-"

 

"Cut the bullshit, tell me what you have before my heart stops, right now." Harry used this controlling tone, one that scared Louis, but if Harry didn’t talk like this, Harry would never get his answer.

 

"A tumor behind my heart yet in front of my spine. It's fatal." He said and Harry's heart dropped, he broke his hear so much he cried along with Louis, who already cried. "I'm so sorry Harry. I should have gone to the doctor before. I should have… I should have told the world I love you before this, I should have just… I'm so sorry. I wish you didn't have to find out this way. I'm sorry that I'm going to die. I'm sorry that I'll have to be the one to let you go when I…" he didn't say anymore because he couldn't it hurt too much for both of the boys and Harry just found out the one he loved was dying a painful slow death. 

 

That day was the worst day so far in Harry's life, more than when Eleanor came into the picture.

 

*

 

A week later, Louis had been freed from the hospital (nurses annoyed that Louis wouldn't stay still) and had his medicine given, but with a stronger drug. He was let free, but his doctor warned him that if his heart hurt, he needed to rush to the hospital or else. Something told Louis that if he were to return to the hospital, he'd never leave. He also suspected they'd put him on life-support to a machine. Harry and Louis decided to not tell anyone and keep the tumor to themselves. They spent a day crying and just comforting uselessly to each other and trying to find some light in the day. The rest of the boys wanted to pester Louis and wanted to ask what happened, but all Harry told them was that he was really tired. Liam knew otherwise and told the boys while Harry became Louis' personal servant and was with him, like a bodyguard… But they love each other in many ways. When someone asked Louis something, Harry answered for Louis. Sometimes Harry would have to pay that night, sometimes Louis would slap the back of his head, and sometimes he had to eat Louis' burnt food.

 

Another thing people started to notice was that Louis was loosing weight. It was a symptom that Louis tried to cover by wearing Harry's clothes, yet those made him look even smaller. He was eating but he still lost involuntary weight. Louis didn't like it because he was afraid of loosing his bum that was one of treasured body parts from not only himself but to Harry. Harry reassuring him it was ok and that he still had his fabulous bum, explaining why he loved that bum so dearly. Fan hash-tagged #getwellsoonlou because Harry tweeted that (against management's will) and well, that was how people started to panic. Louis tweeted he was fine, just really tired, getting himself a bunch of candies from fans who wanted him to be hyperactive instead of his now normal tired self. 

 

It was a week later front he hash-tag when Louis told management and the rest of the band in a conference. It started out as Louis going to talk about a beard and all, but then he came out straight, holding on to Harry, and admitted to the band he had a tumor and since he was going to die, he didn't want to hide his relationship so no matter what management say, he'll come out soon. With that statement, he grabbed Harry and marched out, trying to look strong, but when he got to his house, he broke into Harry's arms and they started to plan their coming out.

 

*

 

When Louis became weak, it was when Harry took charge and brought him to the hospital. It was now November and Louis heart was being painfully consumed and there was no way of stopping it because any radiation wouldn't work. He hadn't been able to get up one morning and had to be carried out to the sofa, Harry thinking Louis was joking. But when Louis couldn't get up front he couch, Harry panicked. Louis then let out a cry and started to cry as he complained how much his heart hurt. Louis rarely complained and so Harry ran to his car, still in PJ bottoms and sweater as Louis was in his PJ bottoms and one of Harry's sweaters. Harry carried him down bridal style, taking Louis' meds and their cellphones and ran to his car, Louis crying in agony. They rushed to the hospital, being brought instantly in the emergency room and sat in the waiting room. Louis was sobbing silently, clutching his heart and holding Harry's hand, squeezing it hard.

 

"Harry…" He whispered shakily.

 

"Yeah?" Harry leaned forward to listen more clearly to Louis.

 

"I can't anymore, I'm going to let you go…" He muttered silently. Harry's eyes widened, as he understood what Louis meant.

 

"No!" Harry cried, startling the other patients around them. People notched the couple and noticed the boys were from a famous band and, well, tweets were spread and next thing the world knew, a fan was taping the whole thing. The couple never found out though, they just kept being themselves, not their famous selves. "Don't let me go! Louis! Please, stay strong! Please Lou…" His voice broke and he kissed Louis in public for the first time, the fan getting it all on tape. "I love you," both boys whispered to each other at the end of the kiss before Louis let out a strangled cry and his breathing darted to become unsteady.

"I can't see well, Haz. I'm so scared. Call my mom, tell my family I love them." Louis sobbed in pure agony, tears rushing down his face. His sight was starting to darken. "Harry, I'm so sorry Haz, I truly do love you, across the universe and back." Louis finally said before sighing deeply and his vision darkened and he blacked out in Harry's shaking arms. Last thing Louis ever saw was Harry's eyes widen and nurses rush in and Harry's eye change from their happy self.

 

That was the last thing Louis would ever see.

 

*

 

"I'm sorry Mr. Styles." The doctor said, outside of Louis' hospital room in the ICU. "I'll come back later for your decision…" And the doctor left, shaking his head down in disbelief of the poor luck that has struck the European boys.

 

Louis has been put on life support of a machine, unconscious. The doctor told Harry that his heart was eaten by so fast that is stopped when they got Louis in the operation room. He'd blacked out from the pain. He was now officially living off of a machine and he had the voice of live off a machine forever or unplug the machine and die naturally instead of becoming an artificial being. Although, if Louis stayed with the machine, he'd never wake up. He'd be sleeping all his life; still alive but asleep, like sleeping beauty except Harry couldn't kiss Louis to wake up. When Jay got there, the other boys were outside of the room, waiting for Harry to let them come in. She had Louis' will and the letter that Louis wrote to Harry, which she didn't read. She entered the ICU and found the boys staring in mid space, all confused. They explained how the doctor was coming back in 10 minutes to ask what they were going to do with Louis. Jay nodded and entered the room, there was Harry staring at the window outside on a rainy day. They grey day was reflected on Harry's face, making him loose the color in his face. Harry explained it all to Jay, who had the rest of the band members following her pursuit inside. Jay sighed, and didn't allow herself to cry but let her eyes sting with tears. She then cleared her throat and red out loud Louis' will.

 

"In the case of any mishap, if I am to live off a machine for the rest of my life and can't make any decisions, Harry Styles has my, Louis Tomlinson's, permission to make any decision for me, whether it is good or bad, but must consult my mother." She read in a shaky voice and looked at Harry, who had wide eyes and looked around to see the boys shocked. "Louis left you a letter too, I think it be best if you read it in private before you decide…" She said and placed the letter that was in an envelope and brought the boys out of the room with her.

 

"Louis, I'll read, this and I hope that it isn't some dumb shit, ok?" Harry told Louis, who didn't look like Louis but more a ear corpse. He slowly opened the envelope and the letter and read the pretty handwriting that was unmistakably Louis'.

 

'Dear Harry,

 

Uh, yeah things ended up like this, shit. Not sure how to write this… But one thing's for sure, please stop crying, ok? I don't want you to cry. Also, mom already read my will hopefully (if not go read it) and I hope you see how much I trust you. I want you to keep in mind that what ever you do, what ever happens, I'll always love you. I want you to publish all the tweets I've drafted since I never could tweet them. I want you to tell the world that Larry is real. I want you to admit how much you love me publicly and slap management. I want them to be furious but unable to do anything.

 

One thing I want you to do is pull the plug. I want you to let me go since there is no point, I'd still be dead basically.

 

Thank you for this amazing life, Haz. I really wish I could have done more with you.

 

I hope you do that, I hope you understand.

 

~L.T; your Boobear.

 

PS: I love you, across the universe and back.'

 

*

 

Harry was crying when the doctor came back and told the doctor his decision, which was done at once. Later that night, in tears, Harry decided he was lonely. He one she couldn't life without the boy who had sea blue eyes and the boy whom he loved, and so he did all what Louis asked him. He posted the drafts, which were his confessions of his love to Harry and how much he thanked the fans and how much he hated people and how this was all drafts that he never could tweet until after death. Harry tweeted to Louis how much he loved him, across the universe and back. Fans were confused until the next morning on the news the headlines was: 'Scene of Romeo and Juliet recreated with a twist with the boys from 1D.' That was the headline because that morning they found a body floating, face flat, in the River Thames.

 

A week later was the funeral for two boys who suffered so much and died in the end. 

 

The funeral for Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson, the star-crossed lovers. 

 

Right before Harry had jumped, he whispered to himself, "I have Louis, but I can't live without you. I love you, across the universe and back."

 

 

**THE END.**

 

 

 


End file.
